I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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