I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
