Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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