Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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