i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
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i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
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Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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