You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
This baby is an asshole
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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