you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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