Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
