I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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