worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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