FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
