you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
