Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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