there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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