please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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