Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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