Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Redeem this text for a blowjob
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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