yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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