i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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