You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
