this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
