This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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