I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
