Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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