It's Friday. Sex?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
His hands were made for my vagina.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
