I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
