i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
