would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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