Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
