thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
