Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
