Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
