"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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