i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize