come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
