The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
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