The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Too much gin, very little bucket
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
