Your dad touched me again.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
