would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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