found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
