I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think your dad took our porno
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
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