whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
