Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
