don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
