sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize