I heard we made out
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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