After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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