If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
