He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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