You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
