first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
