I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
