i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
