then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
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could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
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Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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