I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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