Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
