i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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