Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
