If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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