She is in my trunk
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
